To continue on the second issue of “Our Town Jersey” I’ve picked up from my local Shoprite I wanted to site the terrible jokes it contains. As I mentioned before this publication is community based and freely publishes community events while charging advertisers for space in order to pay for printing. Included with the ads and community events you get Robert Beierle’s opinion on current events and some “reader submitted” stories and jokes. For some reason the mysterious readers who submit these jokes are incapable of being funny without being racist, sexist, or just plain crude.
In a joke titled “World’s Greatest Salesmen” we have a young guy who gets a job at a department store. He is very quickly successful at making a big sale with one customer so his manager asks:
“A guy came inhere to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK? Is that right?”
The kide answers, “No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot; you should go fishin’.”
Another joke titled “Blonde Horseback Riding” pokes fun at blonds by leading us into a story of a blond trying to ride a horse only to give us the punchline that she was just riding a mechanical horse outside a Walmart. I guess it’s supposed to be funny because a blond is too dumb to ride a child’s mechanical horse.
In “Progressive Education” we are told the story of a man disturbed because a cashier is incapable of calculating his change when he tries to round off the change by throwing some coins in with his dollars. This leads the man into a history lesson of the education system where in “the good ol’ days” of 1950, during segregation might I add, children were given tough math while in later years the math questions were dumbed down up to a point where the answer was actually in the question.
1. Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
4. Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math in 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers)
So you’re playing along and maybe you find it funny, but then we get to the last example which is just plain ridiculous:
Teaching Math in 2007: Un hachero vende una carretada de madera por $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
Well, at least the question was more difficult than number 4 and less “liberal” than number 5.
Reading these “jokes” and “stories” submitted by “Faithful OUR TOWN Readers” leads me to believe that the only faithful Our Town reader is Robert Beierle.
Then there’s a story called “Brooklyn Tony on Math”.
Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. “Why?” asks the father. The teacher asked ‘how much is 2×3,’ I said ‘6,’” replies Tony. “But that’s right!” says his dad. “Yeah, but then she asked me ‘ How much is 3×2?'” “What’s the &*$#@ difference?” asks the father. Tony replied, “That’s what I said.'”
Finally we’re given information about massage parlors in “No Sex-for-Sale” which lets us know that we can go to The Arrangement, in Ledgewood, if we’re looking for a legitimate massage. Though that names seems awfully strange for a massage parlor touting that they’re completely on the up and up.